is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Soap is not a condiment
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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