grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
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