yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
