ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
