My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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