Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Randomize
