mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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