i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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