Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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