hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
