i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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