so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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