Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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