I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
