Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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