My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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