the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He has the fingertips of a God
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