I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
