Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
babies were throwing up all over the place
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize