Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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