why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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