i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
