You're completely useless in the revolution.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
