this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I supernannyed him into submission
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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