is your mom at the bar?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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