She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
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I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
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Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
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