before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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