She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I love you. Go after that dick
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize