You don't have asthma, your pregnant
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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