Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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