its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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