i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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