yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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