If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Life is so much better after having sex.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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