If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i would punch a child for taco bell
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
