The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
