I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Me too!
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
