So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
