fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
