i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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