It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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