All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize