Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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