He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
How does it feel to date your dad?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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