Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
