Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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