ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
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I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
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I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
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