You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Do you remember whose house we're in?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
