I just made out with a guy for $7.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
