i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
