Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Send help, water and tortillas.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
