Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You pole danced in your parka.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
