The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
