I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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