I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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