I must be too annoying 4 u.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
