So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
