No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
