I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
