Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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