He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
