I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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