I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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