if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
