Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Hippo gnu deer
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize