you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
