i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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