Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
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