I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
