When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
