Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
